Austin's Powers

Okay, spoiler alert for anyone who missed tonight's episode of Project Runway. Wendy not only made it to the final three, she won tonight's challenge, so Nancy O'(-what-is-she-thinking?) Dell--the brown-eyed blonde co-host of Access Hollywood--is wearing her orange mini muu-muu-like top + ruffly iridescent orange chiffon micromini skirt disaster to the Grammy Awards on Sunday "with some modifications." (I can't wait to see what it actually looks like by the time she's done with it). And Austin--whose dreamy blue and lavender chiffon dress was deemed "too Oscars"--is out! (Though Nancy did ask him--after he was told he'd been cut--if he would design her dress for the Oscars). My only consolation is that he is only 23. And gracious and talented. And I have a feeling he'll have a job by the time the PR finale runs, which incidentally is not next week. In an effort to stretch out the suspense--and the suprisingly successful series--PR is instead inviting all the original competitors back to the studio in the next episode for a critique of the finalists' designs and a candid discussion about the show thus far (the teaser promises "previously unaired" moments from earlier tapings, including what appears to be a cat fight between two of the models).
But I wasn't planning to dedicate my posting to tonight's episode (though I'm apparently worked up enough about it to sit down and write this at 11:30 pm, after walking home through the rain from my friend's place in Murray Hill).
I was actually going to write about a little eating experiment I did today.
I was working on a story today about the new federal dietary guidelines, published last month, and offering suggestions for healthy food choices that fit under the recommended categories: fruits and vegetables, whole grains, low-fat dairy, small servings of fat. So I decided to see if I could follow the new guidelines myself for a day.
That meant 4.5 servings of fruits and vegetables. So I had 2 apples (gala and fuji) and two bananas, and a couple tomato slices and lettuce (on my sliced turkey sandwich--protein, check--on, yes, nine-grain bread). I ate a Kashi peanut butter granola bar (really, more of a peanut-buuter-flavored rice crispy treat--with puffed rice) and half a protein bar.
I had a handful of almond flakes, a cup of Kashi puffed wheat cereal and 2 cups of Cheerios with sliced strawberries (which appeared to have been freeze-dried, judging by appearance and taste), from boxes in my office left over from a feature I'd done earlier on cereals. I figure I got my low-fat dairy from the skim milk and vanilla creamer I poured into my coffee (one cup regular, one decaf). And that, um, small serving of fat: well, the sliced almonds qualified as a 'healthy fat,' but there was coconut in that small chunk of white chocolate I broke off of the oversized bar on our conference room table (a colleague is doing a feature on chocolate).
Oh, and then there was the small square of "no pudge" fudge brownies my friend picked up the recipe for at Weight Watchers (two points). And the glass of red wine. BUT, until I'd even gone there, I'd pretty well followed the HHS dietary guidelines to a tee (okay, there were those 3 dark chocolate Hershey's kisses and 2 packs of mini Menthos.. but they hardly count!).
So how was I feeling? I should have been feeling effin' fabulous with all those whole grains and whole fruits inside me.
But all I felt was bloated! And that was before the brownie and wine. The black slacks that hung loosely around my waist this morning were cutting a crease across my belly by this evening. And my stomach was gurgling through PR.
Okay, maybe it's just the shock of so many fruits in my system at once. But aren't bananas supposed to aid digestion? And whole wheat is supposed to be packed with fiber. I suppose it could be the fat-free vanilla creamer or chocolate--and, okay, the brownie/wine combo probably didn't help. But I walked 11 blocks between the subway and my friend's apartment and my apartment. And I still felt bloated.
I'm willing to give it another shot, and even to abstain from chocolate--for a day, at least. But all the long-term cancer/heart-disease-fighting health benefits of this diet won't amount to a hill of beans if I feel this bloated and uncomfortable each day. Actually, maybe a hill of beans is what I need.