When Less is More

Victor, Sandi, Del... thank you for helping me put things in perspective.
I talked to a colleague of mine this morning (who is a few months from fatherhood himself) who said his first thought upon reading the "Mommy Madness" story was: "Get Over Yourselves!!"
And it's true, of course. We impose these ridiculous standards on ourselves. We tell ourselves (or allow marketers of expensive children's toys, books, games, clothes, furniture, etc etc. to convince us) that we have somehow failed if we don't give our children the best toys, clothes, trips, etc. But if we work ourselves to death so that we can afford to buy our chidren the latest and most expensive eletronic game or Phat Farm jacket or [fill in the blank] and send him/her to the best preschool (And is there really such a difference between public and $18,000-a-year preschools? It's preschool!) and the result is that we are utterly exhausted and unhappy and hardly have the energy to enjoy our children and our spouse... what kind of message are we passing onto our kids?
I'd bet most kids would prefer to have a happy mother (or father) who is able to find some fulfillment in their job--or through friendships or volunteering or parenting itself--and who has the energy and time, if not the millions of dollars, to spend on their children.
Of course, this is all hypothetical because I'm not even pregnant yet! But, I can speak from my observations. I've been thinking a lot about parenthood because so many of my friends are experiencing it--or will be shortly--and I'm watching them grapple with these issues.
A close college friend of mine has 2 young children already. She has a Masters degree in social work but stopped working (after cutting back to part-time during her second pregnancy) after her second daughter was born. She realized she was paying almost as much in child care as she was earning in her job. And it wasn't worth it to her.
But she and her husband still wanted to live in Manhattan and in a building with an elevator. (Ever try carrying a baby and stroller up a five-floor walk-up?) So they're in a one-bedroom apartment in a doorman building on Park Avenue--and they're sleeping in their living room (albeit behind a screen) so their kids can have the bedroom. It seems like a strange arrangement to most, I know.
If they moved to New Jersey, as they've threatened to do many times in the past year, I'm sure they would be able to afford a home with three bedrooms--and probably as many bathrooms, and a backyard as well. And probably for the same or less than they pay now for their place. But they love being in the city. While some may not understand their living arrangement (though anyone who's ever lived in Manhattan on less than $100K a year can definitely relate), it works. For them, it's a small price to pay to stay in the neighborhood they've lived in for years. And the city they call home.
And they're happy. And when it comes down to it, that's what really matters.